What Should We Rename the Gophers' Stadium?

I'll get right to the point: Advertising is a scourge. It is ridiculous how much of our lives we spend being advertised to. It's even worse in sports, since we all acknowledge that our favorite teams and athletes often hold a particular place in our hearts, and the uniforms they wear and the venues they play in should not be so polluted by advertisements.

The Gophers play in a stadium that is named after a bank, one that merged with the bank that used to have its name on the stadium. That first bank buying the naming rights made it more possible for the stadium to be built sooner rather than later, but that does not mean we have to have ever liked the name. So let's imagine that the university has gotten rid of the awful corporate name for whatever reason, and think of alternatives.

Category 1: Historical Figures

There are numerous people that could be worthy namesakes for a Gopher football stadium. Take Murray Warmath, the last Minnesota coach to win a national title, whose name is on the home locker room. Bronko Nagurski, a legend of the game, has a case; he already has his name on the football complex, along with George Gibson. If we wanted to throw the donors a bone — which we never have to do, but that's often how this works — there's always the All-American Bob McNamara, whose name is on the alumni center and whose family continues to give a lot of money to the athletic department.

All that being said, though: There is exactly one stadium in FBS named after a Black man, Iowa State's Jack Trice Stadium. Jack Trice, of course, was killed playing a game against Minnesota, whom some witnesses accused of targeting Trice for his race. In the aftermath, ISU did not play Minnesota for several decades after Trice's death. There is ample reason for a school to name their football stadium after a Black person, considering the demographics of the sport and of college athletics as a whole, but Minnesota's specific history with race in football (recall the origin of Floyd of Rosedale as well) is not entirely good. A gesture like this would be fairly small but potentially meaningful.

There are plenty of Black figures in school history worth honoring. Minnesota had the first-ever Black player in the Big Ten, Bobby Marshall, and the first-ever Black quarterback to win a national championship, Sandy Stephens. Bobby Bell is a legend of the sport, both at the college and NFL levels. Something like Barber Family Stadium, for Marion Jr., Dom, Marion III, and Thomas, could work. We can also look to arguably the two greatest receivers in program history, who played at the current stadium at the stadium: Tyler Johnson-Rashod Bateman Stadium sounds alright. There's even Alan Page, who played his football at Notre Dame but is one of the most extraordinary people to have ever attended the U of M. Page was even the grand marshal at the homecoming parade in 2018. There are plenty of options here.

Category 2: Generic Names

Of course, making heroes out of human beings often proves unwise, as our idols often prove themselves unworthy. I have no reason to believe any of the above people shouldn't be honored by naming a stadium after them, but we never actually know. People are flawed, and sometimes far more flawed than we realize. It's also reasonable to just be uncomfortable with idolatry in general.

So the U of M could rename its football stadium in honor of no one. Gophers Stadium or Minnesota Field is bland but inherently better than any corporate sponsor.

Category 3: Other

How about something more thematic or abstract? That's a bit tougher. If we wanted to liken the venue to a home for literal gophers, the options here aren't ideal. The Gopher Hole is already the name of a prominent fan forum. The Burrow is the home of the Weasleys in the Harry Potter franchise, and we should seek to avoid even unintentional associations with J.K. Rowling these days. The Den is taken by the infamous Millwall F.C. in England. Other synonyms for "burrow" either have too sinister connotations ("lair"), are more associated with other animals ("cave"), aren't really things people say ("hollow"), or just wouldn't apply very well to a football stadium ("dugout").

A new name could come from geography instead. University Avenue Stadium sounds old-timey and quaint, the course taken when naming a number of soccer stadiums in the British Isles. Take Carrow Road, Bramall Lane, or Easter Road. I can understand finding the idea a little Eurosnobbish, but that's more of a concern to me in American soccer culture than in American football. I, for one, like it. Something like Hennepin County Stadium or Minneapolis Stadium is a tad generic by comparison. Naming the place after Dinkytown — i.e., Dinkytown Stadium or some derivative with a bit more character — is a bit dishonest when it's a decent walk away from that neighborhood.

What about East Bank Stadium, though? It football stadium on the U of M's East Bank campus, across the river from downtown but not quite a part of Saint Paul. It would mean the survival of the nickname "The Bank," which I don't personally use but know exists. It's relevant and doesn't sound too bad.

The U of M could also go with Tribal Nations Stadium. The plaza ono the north side already bears this name in recognition of the indigenous peoples who called Minnesota home before white settlers arrived, and who still do live here.

This naming idea is essentially tantamount to a permanent land acknowledgement, which admittedly wouldn't be as meaningful as just giving the land back to those indigenous peoples (and we all know that would never happen), but it wouldn't be nothing if paired with genuine efforts to improve the lot of indigenous Minnesotans. The university has money to fund such efforts. Maybe dedicating part of the gameday presentation to issues affecting Native communities would encourage political engagement among non-Native fans of Gopher football. This is all aspirational spitballing, but if we wanted the name of the stadium to mean something more, this might be a worthwhile first step.